Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Tough Decisions

These days some new stuff happened to me. I won’t get in too much detail, but here is the thing.

I have to make a choice. A serious one. I have to choose between having a well paid full time job on one side and on the other side is the road to achieving my dream: to be a Concept Artist making stuff for games and movies. The thing is that I cannot do both things together. My job takes up too much of my time and at the end of the day if I want to sit and draw my art stuff I just can’t do it, because I am too tired and engaged with work. I tried. Didn’t work.

For my country standards this job is really well paid - way above the average. I retouch photos for virtual catalogs and for print. And while it does take some artistic skills to do this, it is actually the worst thing an artist can do for living. But my family and relatives like the financial security that comes from this, they are proud of me having this job. While I tried to explain to them that times have changed and now digital artists and artist as a whole are much more wealthier especially when it comes to Concept Art, 3D modelling, effects creating and such, they still seem to be far from understanding it. From my family only my brother really supports me.

I have made some crucial choices in my life and they forged my path through the years. Such as choosing a High School major subject and then choosing a University degree. I choose Park Construction for the High School and Ecology and Preserving the Environment for the University, but all this time my true passion has been Art. Why did I make these choices then? Well, not sure. I wanted to draw and paint at the first place, but I guess back then I did not have the will and patience to do what needed to be done, so I made a compromise. Yes, back then I was not strong enough. But now I am. I am not sorry. All the stuff I learned can be very helpful in the field of Concept Art in one way or another. Depends on how I plan my work and I do have a plan forming up.

But now it is time for Art. Finally. I must open the Anatomy textbook I have, take the pencils, the rubber and the papers and start drawing. This is what I want to do. This is what I love to do most. Will take time. I may not have enough money at the beginning. Yeah, money. Let’s talk about them a little. For a great period of my life I have been taught that money is the root of all problems. I’ve been taught to hate money, yet be very focused on having more of them. Such a contradiction, a paradox that has been in my mental structure for so long… But not anymore. If you happen to have a copy of the Black Pearl Project file, you will see me shouting against money. Over time I just realized one thing. Money cannot cause problems. Take a bill from your wallet and put it on the table. Look at it. Can it hurt you? It is so idle, like most items that we use every day. How can this piece of paper hurt you in any way?! It is not money that cause the problems, it is just how we, as humans, treat them and each other. Problems can come, but they never come from money, they come from us, our greed and selfishness, sometimes we just cannot find a way to treat each other with good in mind. More and more of us are already awake and things start changing for the good. Money is just a tool for exchange. I like to think of them as building blocks for the things that we dream about and want to build. No matter what we do, we’re gonna need some money along the way. So why hate them? I love them now.

So now it is time for Art. But I gotta make the tough decision to give up my well paid job, disappoint most of my family and relatives and get to the drawing board. I keep thinking about this. I feel this is the right choice. I have to move on, I have to start drawing. This is what I do best, this is where I shine the most.

And I also have to mention my passion for EVE. None of my family, close friends and relatives understands it. I feel so special among my space friends in EVE, we’re family, we support each other. EVE is so unique when it comes to sharing ideas, art and even knowledge and wisdom. And I want to focus my artistic passion around this, make EVE even better. I read all the fascinating stories about people that changed their life with EVE, people that do amazing things every day. This is what I want to do.

Wanting is one thing. Doing is another. It is time for me to do the things that I love most.

There are some simple wise words that I heard from Ray Bradbury in one if his last interviews. “Do what you love and love what you do!” This is what everyone on Earth should do.

I still have some time to decide. What would you choose? Well paid job that leaves you tired and unable to do your art, or a little insecure income at the beginning while taking your steps to your most treasured dream to excel in the world of Art, making awesome stuff and also get really well paid when you get really good at it? The second choice has better rewards, not only physical, but also spiritual.

I really need some encouraging words now. It is not every day that I make these choices. Seems simple to me at the moment, but I have to take care of my family and do my best to support them. I am really sure that when they see me happy, achieving my dream, making them also happy in the process they will know that my choice to do Art is the right one.


  1. I won't to talk you into either choice, but since you and your family already know all the discouraging words, here are some encouraging ones, not incidentally all from the same site:


    1. Thanks! These are really good and inspirational. I feel better for making my choice now. :)

    2. Please, let us know at some point what your your choice was. It doesn't have to be tomorrow, but for my part, I'd like to know which way you went.